Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
