he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I have vodka in my lungs
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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