my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
