In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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