There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
