i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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