Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
