I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
BRING THE BAGELS
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
