This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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