i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
