I hope mine doesn't look like that
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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