Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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