Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
