I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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