Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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