i was born a porn star she said
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
