This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
