And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
