Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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