Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
