The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
