Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
