dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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