thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
