Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
