I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
