was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
