The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
