She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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