I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
