you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
