She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
