tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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