So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
