Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cockslap morals
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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