he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
