I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
