Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
