i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
