Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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