I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
