Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do vagina's smell?
worst night to have a conscience
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
