Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
