You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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