wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
