Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
