Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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