yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
