Fuck appropriateness.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the day after is always just damage control
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
