I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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